by Ginger Philbrick
Being of a certain age, gentlemen removing hats inside and woman wearing them inside was considered good manners in our growing up years. Recently I attended a theater production. I was politely told to remove my hat. Shortly after being seated a lady with a large hat on was seated directly in front of me, obstructing my view. What do I do…politely ask her to remove her hat, knock it off, or being a gentleman, say nothing and stew?
Grumpy Old Man, Irvington
Bingo! As most of us do when it comes to manners issues, you innately know the answer. Your first instinct was correct; politely ask the wearer of the hat to remove it.
Reading your email, I am immediately reminded of the following Shel Silvertein poem entitled Sun Hat:
“Oh, what a sweet child is Hannah Hyde,
Oh, how thoughtful, oh how nice,
To buy a hat with a brim so wide
It gives shade to the frogs, and the worms and the mice.”
However, if Hannah wore her hat inside at an event such as a theater production, church, concert or movie, where there is no profusion of sun and no little creatures, she would be at high risk of causing annoyance. In fact, the chances are good that more than one person in an audience or congregation is unhappy when sitting behind one of the larger hats for women that seem to be enjoying a comeback.
It is a pity. There is much beauty, originality and interest in ladies larger fashion hats. They do much to favorably accent an outfit and are perfect for wearing to an outside event, a restaurant meal, a cocktail party, a tea, or in the privacy of one’s own home—if needed just to cheer one up.
But there is an etiquette for women’s fashion hats that is to be observed, according to the Emily Post Institute. “Women’s hats and nonbaseball caps can be left on:
• In a home and other dwellings.
• At luncheons, weddings, garden parties, and so on.
• In a religious service, theater, movie, auditorium, or other large gathering place—if the view of those behind is not blocked.
• When the national anthem is played.
• When the flag of the U.S. passes by, as in a parade.”
The next time you feel vexation creeping up on you because of the height or breadth of the hat in front of you, gently tap the wearer on the shoulder and, hoping the hat brim doesn’t hit you when she turns around, use your most pleasant voice to say, “Excuse me. I am unable to see around your beautiful hat. Would you be kind enough to remove it?”
And, by the way, a gentleman always removes his hat indoors unless he is in a public building or on public transportation, at an athletic event, in an elevator or in lobbies of hotels or offices. So hats off, and thanks, to you grumpy, but dear, reader!
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
