by Ginger Philbrick
“Ouch!” I blurted out. Even though the pain was searing, I immediately wanted to swallow my exclamation because my dance partner, who had just stepped on my foot, was red with embarrassment.
He mumbled, “I’m sorry. Sometimes I just don’t know my left from my right.”
It is not only when in a dance class, being told which foot to begin on that we need to know our left from our right. Understanding the direction in which we are to proceed also is important in etiquette. To wit:
• When serving a meal plate, it should be laid down from the left and, when the course is finished, removed from the right. It may help to remember that L is the first letter of both left and lay down, and R is the first letter of both right and remove.
• When passing a dish at the table, it should be taken from the person on your left and passed to the diner on your right. If you haven’t adopted this rule at your table, try it and be amazed at the confusion and hold-ups it avoids.
• At the meal table, a gentleman should offer to seat the lady on his right. After that he may sit down and rest, that is unless there is a female on his left who has been wondering how to sit down by herself.
• Your name tag should be placed just below the right shoulder—unless it is the clip-on type, which is impossible to find a respectable and useful place for in many situations. The vision of the person shaking your right hand is naturally drawn to your right side, making it easier to read the tag placed there.
In Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette (1958), she refers to an interesting rule of etiquette from earlier in the century and before. “The turning of the table” at a formal dinner is supposedly done by the hostess somewhere midway during the meal. She gently terminates her conversation with the gentleman on her right and turns to the gentleman on her left. Others are supposed to watch for this “turn” and do likewise. Eschewing this rule, Ms. Vanderbilt states “Turning the table” makes for conversational artificiality.” Indeed!
Getting back to the young boy who accidentally tromped on my toe, I vaguely remember that later in the dance I went the wrong way on a turn and we ran smack dab into each other. I have no memory of ever seeing him after that afternoon. Right after class, we left. Get it?
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
