by Ginger Philbrick
A little book by Eric Sloane entitled Do’s and Don’ts of Yesterday: A Treasury of Early American Folk Wisdom, was given to me by a friend with the same first name as the author. It is a collection of what we might today call factoids from Colonial era America, giving readers advice on subjects from how to constructively pass time, to tips on predicting weather, to counsel on proper behavior in several circumstances.
Although I notice that all of the entries on socially acceptable behavior are phrased as Don’ts, I think you will enjoy the following selection and re-think them into your own ideas of Do’s.
For Women: “Don’t give yourself extensively to the reading of novels. An excess of this kind of reading is the great vice of womankind. Good novels are good things, but how can women hope to occupy an equal place with men if their intellectual life is given to one branch of literature solely? —DO read Sophocles and Shakespeare and perhaps an occasional Car and Driver.
For Women: “Don’t use terms of endearment when you do not mean them. The word “dear” in the mouths of women is often nothing more than a feminine way of spelling ‘detestable’.” —Do refrain from any form of endearment if you can’t stand the person to whom you are speaking.
For Women: “Don’t supplement the charms of nature by the use of the color-box. Fresh air, exercise, the morning bath and proper food will give to the cheek nature’s own tints.” —Do cancel that appointment you had scheduled for a make-over.
For Men: “Don’t whistle in the street, in a public vehicle, at public assemblies or any place where it may annoy: don’t, as a matter of fact, whistle at all.” —Do save the urge to whistle for the shower, with the ventilation fan on, head down and in a very low pitch.
For Men: “Don’t expectorate. Men in good health do not need to expectorate: with them, frequent expectoration is simply the result of habit. Spitting upon the floor anywhere is inexcusable, as is spitting on the sidewalk or into a fireplace. The English rule is to spit into a handkerchief, but this is not a pleasant alternative. It is often said that the excessive expectoration in America is due to the dryness of the climate, but if this is the case, how is it that the habit is confined to the masculine sex?” —Do keep all body fluids inside the body as much as possible.
For Men: “Don’t have the habit of letting your lip drop and your mouth remain open. Breathe through your nostrils and not through your mouth. An open mouth indicates feebleness of character, while this bad habit also affects the teeth and the general health.” —Do try to look intelligent, which will increase the chances for good dental health.
Thank you, Eric(s).
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
