by Ginger Philbrick
One of my greatest pleasures is receiving messages from those of you who read this column and want to share what you know and believe important about manners.
It is a very broad field, the writings on which range from the ridiculous to the very refined. A gentleman friend, with whom I enjoy conversations on the finer points of etiquette, has sent me a list of suggestions on how to be at our best in social situations. I am happy to share some of them with you here.
• Gently nod and faintly smile at the speaker when in conversation.
• Wait your turn to speak, even to ask a humble question.
• It is wise to defer to the larger group before laughing if you think something is funny.
• Do not judge someone for using an archaic term, such as “britches” instead of “pants.” People using words from the past, although now a minority, often add a freshness and increased interest to conversation. And it is polite to respect and appreciate all minorities.
• Before heading to the buffet for a second helping, ask your table mates if you can get anyone a refill, or maybe an extra napkin, while you are up.
• If you use a “big word” or a phrase from another language in a conversation, add a well-known synonym right behind it.
For example, “That architect was part of the fin de siècle, or end-of-the century movement.”
My friend ends his suggestions by saying the “esoteric, hidden value of good etiquette is to make others feel at home and at ease, and this blessing will come back upon you.”
I couldn’t have said it better!
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
