by Ginger Philbrick
The doorbell rang at 6 a.m. We hadn’t gotten out of bed yet, but you can be sure we were up and alert after the bell rang. My husband got to the door first, and from his greeting I knew the caller was not a stranger. As it turned out, I did not know our early visitor, who I later learned had taken my husband at his word when he told the man he could come by anytime.
We risk offending and embarrassment if we take the words “come by anytime” literally. In the case of our early visitation, the man just wanted to ask about the agenda of an upcoming meeting. He said he was an early riser and thought we would also be. He would have received a more genuine welcome if he had waited, or better yet called the day before. Calling first before assuming another’s availability is always wise. However, there is also etiquette for choosing times to phone.
The appropriate time to make a phone call, unless it is a pressing issue you need to address, or unless you know the other person doesn’t mind an earlier or later call, is between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. The same hours are advised for texting. If the text is business related, it should be sent within the actual business hours.
Another situation during which time is important is when visiting someone in the hospital. Of course, the hospital has posted hours for visitation, but we need to manage our stays within those times with compassion for the patient. Generally, unless we are family who are assisting with the care of the one in the bed, we should limit our stay to 15 or 20 minutes. Be mindful of the patient; sometimes even 15 minutes of small talk can wear a recovering person out.
Thinking again of our surprise early morning visitor, this rhyme comes to mind:
There once was a man name of Brown
Who oft wore his watch upside down.
When his eight became 2
We never knew
When Brown would be coming around.
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
