by Ginger Philbrick
Napkin. A small word and usually not a very large item. However, there is a lot to be understood about a napkin if you want to use it correctly when at the meal table.
There are many versions of the napkin’s history. Here is my best—and probably unforgivably brief—shot at relating how this necessary part of a place setting got to us.
In the pre-napkin era, the Spartans of Ancient Greece, apparently one of the first groups to believe in recycling, used small balls of dough to clean their hands when eating. Then they ate them. Then the Romans, who espoused a bit more decorum at meals, created pieces of cloth; small ones to use as tissues and larger ones to wipe their hands on at the table. When the Middle Ages rolled around, table manners reverted to an alarming casualness. Diners could politely wipe their hands and mouths on anything, from pieces of bread or their shirts to the table cloth.
By the 17th century the table forks, which closely resembled those with which you will probably eat your dinner tonight, were commonly used in France and Great Britain and more elaborate table manners were adopted. Eating with your hands was considered boorish, so back came the fabric napkin. In 1745, in Virginia, a young man named George Washington wrote in a book on civility, “keep your fingers clean and, when foul, wipe them on a corner of your table napkin.”
Today, we rarely use dough or personal attire to wipe our hands and mouth at the dining table. However, we do have rules of etiquette pertaining to those pieces of cloth or paper that come to our aid. Here are the most adhered to:
• In a table setting the napkin should be folded and placed next to the outermost fork.
• Napkins should not be tucked in one’s collar, unless you are a child under the age of 5 or are eating in a restaurant that encourages bibs, such as a seafood or Colonial establishment.
• If the napkin is large, fold it in half before placing it on your lap. If it is cocktail or luncheon size, it may be unfolded.
• When eating, dab your lips every few bites to remove crumbs or other debris that wishes to remain. Never wipe a cloth napkin across your lips, possibly smearing food or lipstick onto the napkin—it could cause stains which will make your hostess groan!
• Napkins should not be used as tissues. If you need to blow your nose and don’t have a tissue, please excuse yourself and find one!
• When the meal is over, or if you leave the table during the meal, the napkin should be loosely folded and placed back in its original location, to the left of the meal plate.
In closing, I remind you that napkins are like therapists—they eliminate your issues.
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
