by Ginger Philbrick
Over the past few months of political action, I thought of George Washington, our first president, and of his devotion to courtesy and respect. I decided to tell him of my admiration in the following letter:
Dear General Washington,
Due to the generosity of several acquaintances, it is my good fortune to be in possession of a number of copies of your timeless work, Rules of Civility. I am, as you might say, long of tooth—quite a bit older than you were at the age of 15 when you wrote that delightful guide to good manners. However, I like to think that, should some supernatural force bring us together today, we would find ourselves kindred spirits.
So much in that little book is still relevant, even as you modeled these thoughts of your youth throughout your entire life. From time to time I quote from your counsel when with the youth in our Cotillion—yes, there are still Cotillions—or when writing my column in our local newspaper —freedom of press still exists!
For instance, your Rule #7 “Put not off your cloths in the presence of others, nor go out of your chamber half drest” is quite appropriate advice for some of our youth. And Rule #18, “ Read no letters, books, or papers in company but when there is necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave,” can be extended quite reasonably to include the technology of today.
If adopted, especially by those of us who are aging, Rule #88, “Be not tedious in discourse, make not many digressions, nor repeat often the same manner of discourse,” would improve the enjoyment and efficiency of our time spent in conversation. And all of us benefit when Rule # 9 is followed; to wit, “Spit not in the fire, nor stoop low before it. Neither put your hands into the flames to warm them, nor set your feet upon the fire, especially if there is meat before it.”
In America, we are pretty good about taking your advice not to clean our teeth with the table cloth, napkin or utensils. And we try not to spit, cough or blow our noses when at the dining table. However, we could be a little more mindful of rule #38 “In visiting the sick, do not presently play the physician if you be not knowing therein.”
General Washington, I write this letter to let you know your little book, written to persuade the populace toward civility, is still read and revered. I have read through it many times over many years and I am always touched by your sincerity in wanting to improve the society of your day.
For that time and this time, and times to come, your last bit of advice is possibly the most important, compelling us to “labour to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.”
Your humble admirer,
Ginger Philbrick
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
