by Ginger Philbrick
Here we go a-partying!
As we look forward to cheerful holiday gatherings, it might be helpful to refresh our memories of the etiquette of entertaining and being entertained. The following are three questions on the subject of hostess gifts that are commonly asked:
• Does a hostess need to immediately open a gift received from a guest?
Bringing a gift is a lovely expression of appreciation, but it isn’t fair to expect your host or hostess to stop everything she is trying to do to make the party pleasing for you to open it. Chances are she will enjoy it much more when everyone has left and she can take time to really look at it.
• If a hostess gift is edible, should it be served at the dinner or party?
An acquaintance tells the story of when she was a young hostess and a guest brought a small dish of what looked like little meatballs that had been rolled in something purplish and then studded with cloves. Not wanting to appear naive, she didn’t ask what they were, nor did her guests consider that she might not know. She thanked the givers and, because she believed any food brought should be served, she added the unusual gift to the dishes on the table. No one, including the people who brought it and one guest who usually went back for thirds of everything, touched the dish. It seems everyone but my friend knew she had chosen to serve little sachet balls!
If she had known then that the hostess is not required to immediately serve any food gifts, it would have been a lot less embarrassing!
• If you have been asked to bring food, should you also bring a hostess gift?
A gift is always a nice gesture, acknowledging the energy and care your hostess has put into preparing for your time in her home. Even if it took three hours for you to make the casserole you were asked to contribute, it is always nice to include a little something just for her. A caveat would be if she had asked that you not bring a gift. Even though such kindnesses are appreciated, some of us are trying earnestly to downsize.
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
