by Ginger Philbrick
My partner and I have been invited to a family wedding in January, in Florida. We have been told it will be formal and is to take place at 5 p.m. It has been a while since I attended a wedding and I am going a little crazy trying to decide what I should wear. Is it okay to wear black to a wedding and would a long dress be more acceptable than a cocktail length one?
Z. G., Deltaville
Dear Z. G., her name was Miss Angel. She was a little under five feet tall, with hair the color of undisturbed snow and a sweet pink complexion for which we seventh grade girls would have gladly traded in all our pimple medication. Miss Angel was our music appreciation teacher and when we entered her room we were suddenly far from the world of Elvis Presley and The Diamonds; we were listening to Bach, Chopin and Debussy.
Although it took me several years to truly appreciate what Miss Angel appreciated, she immediately made a lifelong impression upon me concerning the importance of the black dress. She always wore one, and she told us that if we wore a black dress—not too fancy, but presentable—we would be comfortable in any social situation. She was correct. Decades and several black dresses later, I fondly remember Miss Angel and am grateful for her advice.
Having checked my resources to be certain the etiquette for wedding attire hasn’t changed overnight, I confidently tell you that for a formal wedding, whether in the daytime or evening, a black cocktail length dress is entirely appropriate. It may be more dressy for the evening. A long gown would be equally correct for a formal evening.
For your male companion in the daytime, a dark suit with conservative shirt and tie is recommended. For a formal evening wedding, he should wear a tuxedo if the invitation says “Black Tie,” or a dark suit.
While writing this column, the music and words from the opera Hansel and Gretel by the 19th century composer, Engelbert Humperdinck, have set themselves squarely in the forefront of my mind. “When at night I go to sleep, 14 angels watch do keep.” And I think of my Miss Angel, carefully putting the needle on the record spinning on the turntable, in her black dress—suitable for any occasion.
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
