by Ginger Philbrick
Hello and thank you for turning to my first column of the new year. I sincerely hope you have remained healthy and, if not, have recovered, as I have. We have work to do to make this time and this place one where kindness and respect, or at least civility, are the norm.
For me, January is a month of thank-yous, beginning with notes to those who gave me gifts. It seemed that the boxes, bags, paper and ribbons they came in were more beautiful than ever this year. And the gifts themselves, whether big or small, were given with thoughtfulness. However, as you know, no matter the gift, it deserves a thank you.
The etiquette is that a note is always appropriate, but if the giver was not there to see you open the present, a written note is a must. It is recommended by the Emily Post Institute that it be sent within a week of receiving the gift, but you can be sure that it will be warmly welcomed even if a month elapses!
As I do every year at Christmas, I gave each of my Cotillion teens a small, almost insignificant gift. This year it was a Sharpie highlighter. Their assignment was to write to me, expressing appreciation for the present. They were also given the following template as a suggestion for the construction of a thank you note. Perhaps you have a young person in your life who could use it.
Dear __________________,
Thank you for __________.
Why you like the gift—never ask to exchange it unless it is the wrong size or you already have one and cannot use another. Consider regifting if the latter is true.
What you will do with the gift. If cash, how you will spend it.
Optional but nice: end with something that they might like to know about you or your family. Or ask them something about themselves.
Again, thank you for such a nice/thoughtful/cool gift.
Love, affectionately or sincerely, ___________.
I repeat, you can be certain any note of thanks will be appreciated, even if it is from the child who writes: “Dear Mrs. Philbrick, Thank you for the gift. I don’t have time to write a lot, but I mean it. Sincerely,”.
Thank you for reading this column for almost nine years now, for your questions, your comments and your encouragement. All of those have been such a pleasure for me. I don’t have space to write any more, but I mean it. Sincerely.
Ginger Philbrick is the owner of Because You Are Polite LLC. You are invited to email your manners questions to her and she will respond as time and space allow. You may contact her at youarepolite1@gmail.com.
