KILMARNOCK—Joan Ray Hayes, 89, passed away on July 12, 2024, in Kilmarnock.
Joan was born to Cecil Eldridge Ray and Elizabeth (Williams) Ray at her grandparents’ home in Savannah, Georgia, on November 22, 1934. She grew up with three brothers and two sisters in Norfolk. She attended Maury High School and graduated valedictorian of her class in January 1953.
She went on to attend the Division of The College of William and Mary and Virginia Polytechnic Institute in Norfolk (now ODU). She was active in student groups and was made editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, The High Hat. She graduated with honors with an associate of arts in 1955 and then went on to attend The College of William and Mary in Williamsburg. While at William and Mary, she was a member of the Phi Beta Pi sorority and was elected to editor of the Mortar Board her senior year. She was elected Miss William and Mary and graduated with honors in 1957. She was also active in the drama community in Williamsburg and acted in several plays. After graduating from college, she worked as the assistant to the director of public relations at WTAR (now WTKR) in Norfolk.
On August 30, 1959, she married Charles Barrick Hayes at Larchmont Baptist Church in Norfolk. She and Charles moved to Richmond, where she worked as an editor for State-Planters Bank and later as a teacher for Henrico County Schools while her husband attended dental school.
In 1964, she moved with her husband Charles to Wildflecken, Germany, while he was serving in the U.S. Army Dental Corps. While living in Germany, she and Charles took many trips and toured much of Europe which she remembered fondly. While in Germany, she took her first driving lessons and received a German Driver’s License (even before getting one in the U.S.).
After returning to the U.S., Joan worked as a reporter for a newspaper in Portsmouth, while her husband established his dental career. In 1966, Joan moved with her husband to Virginia Beach where she helped him establish his dental practice and worked as his office manager.
In 1973, they welcomed their first and only child, Claire. Joan was a doting and attentive mother to her daughter. She loved taking her daughter to natural areas and historic sites in southeastern Virginia and became very active in the Garden Club in Virginia Beach. Her true passion was gardening and was her favorite way to spend her free time. She also enjoyed taking art classes and educating herself about botany, horticulture and history while she continued her work as office manager in her husband’s dental practice.
After retirement, she and Charles moved to Lancaster County. She spent her time creating a beautiful home and garden on the Corrotoman River for her family to enjoy. After becoming a grandmother in 2014, she exhibited that same doting nature on her grandson, Oliver.
Joan was an extraordinary woman and what some might call a true lady. She made education a priority and encouraged the betterment of people in all forms. She valued the beauty of art and nature and the value of science and civics. She came across as very genteel, but she was also tough as nails. She survived many obstacles, but she was not one to make that known.
Joan was predeceased by her parents, her brothers, Cecil Eldridge Ray Jr., John Ralph Ray and William Grady Ray; and by her sister, Mabel Louise Ray Davis.
She is survived by her husband, Charles; her daughter, Claire Hayes; grandson, Oliver Hayes-Davies; sister, Virginia Paradise and husband, John; sisters-in-law Suzanne Ray and Elizabeth (Beth) Ray; as well as many nieces and nephews and their children and grandchildren.
A memorial service and burial will be held at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Norfolk at a later date. Please contact family members for further information.
Currie Funeral Home LLC of Kilmarnock handled the arrangements.
